


hold me when i put my heart in your hands

by pelnakhara



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: M/M, i'm in ffxv rarepair hell, some drunkenness mentioned but only in past actions, when you're so gay that it makes you clumsy and everything seems to go wrong until it's not anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 19:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pelnakhara/pseuds/pelnakhara
Summary: Pelna Khara has the most embarrassing crush on his fellow Kingsglaive, and he's firmly resolved not to address it ever.  Or, that's what he tells himself.  Drunk Pelna has another idea on that entirely.prompted:Libertus Ostium/Pelna Khara, "You fainted straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn't have to go to such extremes."





	hold me when i put my heart in your hands

**Author's Note:**

> what happens when you fall in love with a rarepair involving two characters not even mentioned in the main game? suffering. or, if you're me, you write all the gay shit yourself! so anyway, this is the culmination of a handful of roleplays I've done with my best friend Cas, and is probably the most lighthearted thing I've posted on this account ever.
> 
> Pelna's characterization is a whole lot of headcanon, as we barely got anything about him in the movie before he met his tragic tentacle-y end. allow a little self-indulgence, please.
> 
> title is from the song Livewire by Oh Wonder (which is definitely a song I'd recommend, it suits the pairing well in my opinion!)
> 
> shoutout to the wonderful Cas and Alexei for being my betas, and making sure this fic is at all readable before I throw it at the masses.

He's only just awoken, and there is nothing Pelna Khara craves more than the sweet release of unconsciousness.  His head holds a thunderous migraine, and he's groggy, unaware of his location beyond 'probably a couch?'.  He gropes around to find his glasses, grateful to find they're in their case a few feet away.  The world falls into sparkling clarity as the frames settle across his nose, almost enough to cause even further discomfort.

Details put together, the puzzle becomes less muddied.  A familiar dingy wall, adorned with Galahdan beadwork.  The scent of day-old incense, mingling with the pleasant addition of hot sausage coming from another room.  Pelna's stomach growls tempestuously at the thought of a hot, greasy breakfast, but he isn't yet willing to test the limits of his balance.

Not that it matters, as the owner of the couch Pelna presently lies upon comes around the corner then.  As his eyes land on the prone frame of his fellow Glaive on the sofa, Libertus beams.

"Well, there you are!  Thought you was never gonna wake up after all the shots you put away last night."  He crosses the room as he speaks, clapping a hand on Pelna's shoulder with a level of force just shy of uncomfortable.  His other hand grasps a pair of tongs, presumably from whatever breakfast he's been at work on.

Pelna only grimaces and ducks his head down.  He recalls going out with the others to their usual haunt, to grab skewers and a pint after a long day of training. He also remembers Nyx's foolhardy bet involving the ingestion of far too much tequila.  Somehow, he'd roped Pelna into it, and Pelna, ever willing to get entangled in Nyx's problems, agreed.

Everything after that first shot?  A total blank.  All he can do is hope he'd retained at least some small portion of his dignity, but knowing how wild nights with Nyx often went, it  isn’t looking good.

He only wastes a moment on attempting to remember, looking back up at Libertus.  "Do I even wanna know how bad it was?"  He's met with a laugh, Libertus waving his tongs dismissively.

"Aw, Pel, it wasn't  _ that _ bad.  I mean, right up 'til you tried to stand, most of us were impressed with ya.  Didn't think you was as drunk as you should've been after that many drinks.  Always have been good at holding it together."  Pelna isn't sure if that's meant to be a compliment or not.

He decides his head has stopped spinning enough to try to sit up.  Libertus seems to see what he intends to do in the way his arm moves and he jumps to offer a helping hand up.  Slowly, but surely, Pelna gets himself upright, and the room takes its time settling into place.  In the process, he ends up with his shoulder pressing to Libertus' stomach, weight supported by the firm and comforting presence of the other Glaive.

It's nice until the scent of salt and grease starts to turn bitter, and Libertus swears.  " _ Shit _ !  One sec, Pel!"  Pelna watches him disappear around the wall into the kitchen.  He's content to wait, listening to the crackle and splatter of cooking, accompanied by Libertus' muttering and the creak of the oven door.  He grins at Libertus when he comes back.  "Breakfast is done.  A little charred, but I think it adds flavor, anyway."

"Sure it does, Lib."  Pelna rises from the couch, wobbling a moment as the world rearranges itself once more.  His head throbs with the movement, but he knows that getting some good food in his belly will cure most of what ails him.  Libertus hovers at his side, ever ready to help, hands seeming to jump towards Pelna a time or two.  "No need to worry so much, I'm not going down that easy."  Pelna laughs at him, giving a lighthearted jab at Libertus' arm.

"Well, you never know.  Last night, you got up, and fainted right into my arms!  Like a wilting daisy."  Pelna's amusement dies in his throat as Libertus gives a belly laugh of his own.  "Y'know, Pel, if you wanted my attention so bad, you didn't have to go to such extremes."

Pelna's never been more grateful for the dim lighting Galahdans usually favor inside their homes, as can hope it hides the heat rising to his face.  Though the exact memory escapes him still, he can picture it in his mind's eye.  He's already three sentences into berating himself for drinking so damn much.  Libertus notices that something is amiss with little effort.

"Hey, don't worry about it, I was only teasing.  Astrals know we've all been that drunk before."  Libertus gives him a worried look, prompting a grimace from Pelna.

"Yeah... sorry, anyway."  Pelna tries his best to shake the embarrassment, knowing that if Libertus catches wind of an issue, he'll only pry further.  And Pelna can't handle the idea of explaining to Libertus  _ why _ he feels so awkward about last night's mishaps.  That would involve delving into his feelings for Libertus– a complicated web that he'd rather not untangle when he's this hungover.   


Or perhaps, ever at all, especially out loud to Libertus, the very object of his affections.

And of course, he knows how childish and ridiculous a crush like this is for one of the Kingsglaive.  He's been carrying it for a couple of years now, somewhere in his heart between his loyalty to Nyx and his dedication to the job.  And for the most part, it sits fine with him.  He doesn't need anything beyond this friendship with Libertus.  He's happy that they're Glaives together and happy that he managed to be a part of the tight bonds that Nyx, Libertus, and Crowe have forged.

Which is why the risk is too great to divulge how he feels.  If Libertus doesn't feel the same way, it could make things awkward between all of them.  He wouldn't dare ruin what he has– his friends are the closest thing to family he's got left.

"Don't worry yourself about it, you've got enough on your mind," Libertus replies with an affectionate nudge to Pelna's shoulder.  It sets him off-balance more than he'd rather admit, but not enough to truly knock him over.  He shakes his head, offering a smile as he clears the clutter of thoughts from his mind.

Together, they move to the kitchen as they talk.

"You're right.  If I get too distracted, who's gonna keep the rest of you idiots out of trouble?"

"I dunno.  Maybe I'll take up the job."  Libertus gives him a conspiratorial look, to which Pelna mocks a shudder.

"No offense, but you'd suck at my job."

"Oi!  I wouldn't do that bad.  I'm a caring, cuddly guy.  I could handle it!"

Pelna scoffs, "Sure you could.  And the sky is green.  Better yet: Niflheim is a peaceful nation!  Nyx is the best of friends with Luche, and Crowe's a straight woman who's never looked at Cara's ass while she thought she wasn't looking."

"Alright, I get it, I get it!"  Libertus is doubled over in the kitchen now, laughing with his hands pressed to his thighs.  Pelna gets a bit distracted by how much he glows like human sunshine when he loses himself like this until Libertus is wiping the tears from his face and straightening up.

"Just admit it– I spend more time pulling you out of fights than any of the rest of them."  Pelna pulls a chair out from the tiny table in the kitchen and sits down, symptoms of his hangover already settling in the back of his mind, where they can be managed.

Libertus sets the plates and silverware on the table, followed by sausage, eggs, and biscuits.  Pelna wastes no time in serving himself some and digging right in– Libertus' cooking is nothing to laugh at.

"Okay, you win.  You're the most level-headed person I've ever met, and I get into fights with my own  _ oven _ sometimes."  Libertus joins Pelna in eating, and that's the end of that.  For a good while, there's mostly quiet, but for the sounds of forks scraping plates.  It's the comfortable silence that Pelna enjoys most with Libertus, when they're content to exist in each other's space while they go about their own activities.

It's a hard-won comfort, and one that often doesn't exist if they're in a group with the other Glaives.  So many of them feel the need to fill the silence, or simply prefer a lot of noise– Nyx on his own makes more noise than most of them put together.  Pelna appreciates that Libertus allows these moments, for however long they last before they're broken.

"Hey, you in there?  Pelnaaaa, get the hell out here!"

Speak of the devil.

Pelna groans as he stands, giving Libertus a long-suffering look at the sound of Nyx's voice carrying through the apartment.  Libertus only chuckles and begins to gather the dishes from their meal.

"So much for a quiet morning," Libertus says, nearly a whisper under his breath, which prompts a snort from Pelna.

"There's no such thing as a quiet morning when you're a Kingsglaive, Lib.  Especially not for the resident idiot-wrangler."  Pelna grins over his shoulder, but he's already out of the kitchen before Libertus can respond, so he keeps his soft laughter to himself as he washes the dishes.

" _ Pel _ !" Nyx shouts again.  Pelna notices he doesn't invite himself in the way Nyx so often does with Pelna's apartment, and he wonders what could have possibly caused this newfound respect for privacy.

"I'm coming, hold on!  Astrals, you're gonna wake up the whole of Insomnia with all that noise."  He grabs his boots from beside the door before he opens it to find Nyx in uniform, looking impatient and far too awake.

"Glad to see you’re decent,” he starts.  A peculiar choice of words that Pelna isn’t coherent enough to pick apart just now.  “The captain wants the two of us to come in today.  There's been some kind of riot down by the gates, and he wants us there in case things tip over the edge."  Behind the hand now scrubbing over his face, Pelna lets out another groan.

"Alright, fine.  Tell him I need a shower first, and he can handle me being late since I wasn't even supposed to work today," Pelna says, gesturing with the hand still holding his boots.  It’s a fine mental image, thinking of Nyx actually delivering the news that anyone would disregard punctuality to Captain Drautos.  As he exits the apartment, Pelna calls out, "Thanks for breakfast!  See you later, Libertus!"

Libertus pokes his head around the corner from the kitchen and waves, a smile on his face that Pelna takes his time holding in his mind as his feet carry him back to his own apartment a floor up.

 

///

 

Crowe ends up being assigned to the same area as Pelna and Nyx, and it's a blessing in disguise, because things get ugly shortly thereafter.

By the end of the day, Pelna is exhausted, dragging his feet behind the other two as they all walk together to eat dinner from their usual street vendor.  He feels bad for not being able to diffuse the situation before it got violent, but there's little point in dwelling on a job gone wrong.  Drautos seems happy enough with their results, and in the end, that's all Pelna has the energy to worry about.

As they're all sitting around the same table they always do, tiredly picking through their food, Crowe nudges Pelna's calf with her foot and smirks.  Pelna braces for something devious, knowing from experience that a look like that can only bring trouble for anyone found victim to it.

"Nyx says he found you at Lib's this morning," she starts, sharp eyes watching Pelna.  "How'd that go, stud?"

Stud?  Pelna blinks through the confusion, directing a frown at her.  "Gonna have to be a little more specific than that, Crowe.  I don't follow what your devil brain is spitting out."

She laughs, but it's not mocking.  "Damn, you really were that drunk, huh?"  Nyx leans over and tries to cut in, then.

"Maybe we should just leave it, Crowe," he says, and Pelna frowns deeper.  Nyx is never so eager to save anyone from a good teasing about whatever they did under the influence.  Crowe waves a hand, dismissing him without a thought.

"No!  He should know, even if Libertus is too chickenshit to say anything himself." She never takes her eyes off Pelna.  His food is long forgotten, abandoned as Pelna's hands fidget with a hole in the wood of the table.  "You ended up in Lib's lap last night, awfully flirty with him.  Next thing we see, you two are attached at the lip, sucking face like it's your last fuckin' drink."

Oh.   _ Oh. _

"You... I?  What?  We?   _ What _ ?"  Pelna's at a loss for words, gaping at Crowe like the world's hairiest fish.  He doesn't know what to say, or to feel.  He can feel his face turn red, and the harsh lights on the street won't allow for any of it to be hidden this time around.

"No idea who started it, but it sure was a hell of a show.  Libertus scooped you up after you finally let him breathe, told us to keep it to our damn mouths shut about it, and carried your drunk ass home."  Crowe is less smug about it all now that Pelna seems so bewildered by the information, but she's no gentler with the details.  Pelna is actually grateful for how direct she can be– at least now he knows how terribly he embarrassed himself the night before.

Nyx looks sympathetic but says nothing.  He seems unsure of what to say in the first place.  Pelna looks from the two of them, down to his the cardboard holding his kebabs, and then at his feet beneath the table.  His heart races in his ears.

"I think I should go," he blurts out after several more minutes of staring.  Crowe and Nyx have since finished their dinner, and they nod almost in sync.

"If it helps, you both seemed equally enthusiastic about the whole ordeal," Nyx offers, watching Pelna stand up.  "I'd talk to him soon, I think it might sort some shit out."

"Yeah, maybe you're right.  I'll go, um. I'll think about that."  Pelna's still trying to figure out what he wants to do about it, so talking to Libertus tonight seems like a bad idea.  He needs as much sleep as he can manage before he even considers facing any of that.  "Thanks, guys."

They both wave as he leaves.  Pelna makes it home slowly and falls directly into bed, face down in the pillows and waiting for sleep to claim him.

 

///

 

Pelna doesn't get as much sleep as he'd like, but he never really does.  What sleep he can get is filled with thoughts of Libertus, every smile and laugh and touch flashing through his dreams all the way back to their early years in training together.  He wakes up feeling warm, the sunrise splashing pinks and oranges across his walls in an almost too appropriate display.

The memory of yesterday is still present in his mind, but he's less anxious about it now.  He's going to be an adult, and he's going to talk to Libertus about this.  And if it goes well, then it goes well.  If it doesn't, he'll just have to find a way to move to Accordo and change his name in shame.  Problem solved.

Pelna goes for his morning run, neglected the previous day for obvious hangover-related reasons.  He takes a quick shower after, enjoys his usual several cups of coffee, and finds distractions to fill the morning.  Libertus is anything but an early riser, and Pelna knows he has the day off, so he's waiting until a more appropriate time to have a conscious and mature discussion of their feelings.  Or something close to it.

He takes the time afforded to him to try and rehearse a few ideas, as practice for finally putting this into words.  He does so standing in front of his bathroom mirror, of course, because even a pragmatist like Pelna is victim to cliche. 

"Crowe told me what happened the night before last, and I– no, that's too confrontational."  Pelna glares at his own reflection as though it is to blame for all his problems, rather than his own traitorous heart.  He clears his throat, and tries again, "I just want to apologize for kissing you!  Even though you might have started it and I can't... actually remember it at all.  I'm sorry for that too?  No, that's too pathetic.  Sounds like I regret it."

He continues like this for an hour before he feels too ridiculous to keep at it, and leaves the bathroom feeling no more settled than when he started.  His heart is in his throat as he throws himself onto his couch with a force that rattles his coffee table.

"I'm never gonna get this to come out the right way," he grumbles miserably into the cushions.  Pelna closes his eyes, envisioning all the ways this will definitely absolutely go entirely to shit.  By the end of that trip down Terror Lane, he's ready to give up on the whole idea and skip right to moving to Accordo.  He'd sound alright with an Accordan surname, and the sun has always suited him.  He thinks he'll like the climate, but he's not sure as he's never actually been to Accordo.  He doesn’t know how he feels about such a seafood-heavy diet, though.

A knock on the door interrupts his escape plans.  Pelna unsticks himself from the vacuum of his couch and trudges to answer the door in an incredibly disheveled state.

Libertus stands on the other side, and immediately lets himself in.  Pelna would stop or question him but for the foil-covered dish in Libertus' hands.

"Thought I'd bring you some lunch.  Nyx said it was a hell of a day at work yesterday, and you should eat something other than coffee and takeout sometimes, you know?"  Libertus is as bright as he usually is, chattering away as he uncovers the dish and sets it on Pelna's coffee table.  His apartment isn't as large as Libertus', so he didn't want to get a dining table to clutter it up, and it's turned out just fine.  Eating on the couch is more comfortable, anyway.

"Oh, thanks!"  Pelna retrieves the requisite dishware to eat, and sits with his legs crossed on the couch.  He watches Libertus get settled, the larger man tossing an arm casually on the back of the couch.  Pelna tries not to notice how Libertus' hand brushes against his shoulder, leans forward and takes a good helping of the food.  "Oh, your  _ special baked meat _ .  Still think that you should come up with a better name than that."

"Yeah, I know.  Might end up doing that, just so that Crowe will stop making dirty jokes about it," Libertus shakes his head, less frustrated than he pretends to be.  "If I hear one comment from  _ your _ mouth, I'll just take my food and my company on back downstairs."  Libertus makes to stand, as if to prove that his threat is legitimate.

"No, don't leave!"  Pelna laughs, grabbing for his arm quickly.  "There's no need for that, I'll shut up and appreciate your  _ very _ special meat."

Libertus huffs at the comment, but the smile crinkling his eyes betrays his true feelings.  He relaxes back down into the seat and gestures with the hand still in Pelna's loose grasp, "Good, cause I'd hate to have to leave you here to fend for yourself.  Can't even be bothered to put some clothes on!"

Pelna jumps, and looks down.  He's greeted with the sight of his own bare chest, followed by sweatpants.  He'd forgotten to put on a shirt after his shower.  He answered the door for Libertus  _ without a shirt on. _  He's mortified.

It's not like Libertus hasn't seen him like this before.  All the Glaives in his age group have seen each other in some manner of undress– the concept of body modesty generally flies out the window when you're all crammed into one military dorm as a bunch of teenagers and young adults during training.  Pelna especially has seen most of his fellow Kingsglaive in little clothing, as one of the healers of the group.

But with the context of all that's happened, and everything on Pelna's mind, he feels suddenly too exposed.  He stands abruptly, forgetting about the plate in his lap, and sends the food he'd piled up scattering across the floor.  "Ah, hell."

Libertus stops him as he starts to get a towel from the kitchenette in the corner of the apartment.  "Hey, are you okay?  You seem all over the place, it's damn unusual for you."  The concern is clear in his voice, and even clearer in his eyes when Pelna looks up to meet them.  Everything freezes in place, Pelna's perception of time slowing down as his attention is consumed entirely by the vision of Libertus' face so close to his.  He can almost feel his better judgment taking a backseat, all worries lost in the wind.

"I want to kiss you.  Again."  The words leave his lips before he can truly register that he was even thinking them.  "One I'll actually get to remember this time."

Libertus pauses.  "I knew I couldn't trust either of those two shits to keep something secret."  His tone is light but distant enough that Pelna can't quite place how he  _ feels _ about any of this.

"If you don't want it, it's fine!  I just, it's been distracting me all day and I finally feel strong enough to say something about how I feel about you.  I'm sorry, I don't want to ruin anything, or break any boundaries, or," he stops rambling as soon as Libertus' hand touches him, settling lightly on his upper arm.

"Will you quit your bloody blathering for one second, Pel.  Astrals."  Libertus grins, easygoing and fond, before pulling Pelna closer and pressing their lips together.

It's by no means a spectacularly new kiss, but everything about it fills Pelna's mind.  He steps forward, closing the last bit of distance between them, and puts a little more enthusiasm into it.  Libertus is eager but respectful, and there's still a soft hand grazing his bicep that makes Pelna dizzy with delight.  He can taste the spice of Libertus' cooking on his lips as he finally breaks the kiss, now smiling so hard his cheeks strain.

"Memorable enough for you?"  Libertus asks, his usually booming voice lowered to an intimate volume.  Pelna laughs, eyes roving over Libertus' face.  They're still close enough for their noses to touch, Pelna's hand loosely hooked on the back of Libertus' neck.  He's not sure when he put that there, but he's got no plans to move it anytime ever, if he can help it.

"Mm, I dunno.  I have a bit of short-term memory loss suddenly, I can't recall the last few minutes," Pelna teases with a grin.  Libertus hums, seeming to consider his options, before leaning forward and pressing several quick kisses all over Pelna's cheeks.  A bright laugh bursts out of Pelna's chest at the treatment, and eventually, he bats Libertus away as his stubble starts to leave beard burn on his face.

They part, hands lingering in each other's grasp for a second, until Libertus breaks the contact and goes into Pelna's cabinets to get the towel long since forgotten.   


"Y'need to get this cleaned up before we get any more distracted.  It'll attract bugs if you leave it."  Despite Libertus saying 'you', he bends down to begin scraping up the spilled food himself.  Pelna drops to his knees to help him, something airy fluttering in his chest every time their shoulders brush while they work.

They spend the entire day together, finishing their lunch and watching television aimlessly for the most part.  They migrate to Libertus' apartment for dinner, trading kisses and playful jabs while they cook and eat.  The night ends with the two falling into bed, comfortable in their affection, wrapped up in their newfound bonds.  Pelna certainly didn't expect his night to end like this, but maybe Accordo isn't so enticing after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cara, mentioned briefly, is an absolutely lovely Glaive OC borrowed from a friend on Twitter! For more of her, see @glaiveralf.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story! Feel free to leave a comment, some criticism, or just a line you really enjoyed; anything is welcomed! I'd love to know what you think!


End file.
